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Ok ok let’s have this talk

This is the time of year
when I explain to friends colleagues and co-workers
about my hobby of helping with weddings

Not a planner, I don’t do all the work
Wedding number 7 dubbed us ( me and my partner in crime )
“wedding whisperers” in the tradition of the other great Ceasar

But WHY?

Let’s address the evil reasons first:
*warning, this is going to make me look crazy

1. Jerry Seinfeld once said that public speaking was no.1 on the top fears list. Death was no.3! So people would rather be in the box than giving the eulogy!
When I was too junior to ‘be allowed’ to speak in front of people. This was a chance to do it on a time limit, in a high pressure situation and you are forced to make an emotional connection, as opposed to most public speaking opportunities. So many soft skills like project management, client service, vendor and peer professionalism – all business muscles get flexed and my role is to NOT be personal. I’m there to do business, not have a good time, so everyone else can.

2. I release my evil inner control freak – to do good! There are timelines, spreadsheets and it is all under my command. I have a binder and you don’t. All the beautiful people will do as I say! Ah-haha haa haa aha *ahem. In a business and personal world where I insist on letting go, being flexible and open to dialogue, here is one place where a benevolent dictatorship can actually do some good

3. I can right wrongs. No one is paying me, I can do whatever the hell I want. SO! I WILL tell your rude aunt that today, she can’t terrorize the bride by telling her “you look fat”. Like a linebacker I’m on her like white on rice baby. I can shut down drunk uncle charlie, vet those dumb best man speeches and other “grab the mike” fools who derail so many important days. The focus is on the couple, this day WILL be beautiful, I WILL create some awe and wonder in this world so help me God.

Ok ok, on to the good reasons:

1. It allows the couple and the wedding party/family to actually have a great day. This is a big day, a big investment, a big change. Everyone around you is emotionally compromised. Myself and my partner manage things from 5am to the afterparty and encourage everyone to send ugly things our way. Don’t ask your brother to handle the video camera, this is a big day for him too. Keeping things on time and on track is a lot of pressure, don’t put it on someone who wants to celebrate with you, a semi-pro ensures your guests have a great time but aren’t bored with 3 hours of inside joke speeches ( “member when we…” ). It is an honour to call out great people. The weddings I MC’d this summer were of two humble, kind, generous couples that would never let me praise them in public. The world needs more good people and on this day, they need to know, everyone in that room loves them and yes, they deserve it.

2. I’m not going to lie. I have a LOT of fun and learn so much ( we have learned Sikh, Punjabi, Chinese, Filipino and Seventh Day Adventist traditions – as the Globe and Mail recently said, cross-cultural learning is a business bonus ). I have also gotten so much closer with friends as a result of helping their big day be a perfect day. I have memories ( and war stories ) that will last forever. Most people will only be on the inside of a few weddings. I’m working on number 40.

3. I fall in love all over again every time. Again, I’m not going to lie, I am a ruthless romantic. My wife is a scientist who puts up with me and loves that I get it all out in the mosh-pit of love that is a wedding. Every ceremony I look at her, tears in my eyes and she rolls hers and thinks “here he goes again”. But with babies, dogs and cats, make no mistake it helps me remember why I got into this deal “to the death” ( what a non-english speaking officiant once called a wedding during a ceremony )

After all, I’m a man. What are my options?
Watching sports, drinking beer,
scratching myself while watching sports drinking beer?
Whatever.

I’ll stick with weddings.
The open bar doesn’t hurt …

Every time a book on intelligence, leadership or marketing starts talking about the brain things get very boring and textbookish.

This, is the BEST BOOK I’VE EVER READ on the marketing language of the brain.

You want to talk value? For a science-kind of book each chapter starts with these words: “At the end of this chapter you’ll know and be able to use the following” followed by three bullets.

They go into complex topics in bit size bits, the writing is understandable, punchy and well edited to NOT be boring.

The book breaks down the brain by:
– Geography
– The senses
– Gender and gender roles
– Engagement with habit
– Engagement with product

I particularly liked the chapters on the empathic brain, the mommy brain ( finally a book that doesn’t assume all women are mommy’s ) and the fantastic explanation of “Mirror Neurons” ( monkey see…)

You’ll learn about how
– Your consumer thinks about your product
– Engages it in store to complete purchase
– Engages it online to complete purchase
– How to move people from “fans” to “advocates” in a social media world

This is a recent publish so chapters like “how to rock the aisle” may be classic but “the world of one screen” that is based on smartphones and tablets is new world thinking that is high-value right now.

A deeper read, it was overdue at the library when I returned it. Worth it.”

Will leave you with some thoughts below…if you’re looking for a more marketing lighter insight into “why we buy” without all the brain-talk – the book “Buy-ology” linked above is always talked about alongside this book

AND… if you’re curious about “Buy-ology” above too….

This book was a fantastic Audio listen on my commute

Recently I was supposed to attend a talk by Joseph Michelli
A schedule change meant that it was moved and I missed it BUT! It was great because it caused me to read three great books of his.

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE Starbucks
But my biggest secret is
that it has very little to do with their Coffee
It’s about the environment and the service level
the fact that I can take a client there
and it’s like…or better than meeting in my office

Mitchelli focuses on the “5 key leadership principles” of Starbucks Co.:

1. Make it your own
2. Everything Matters
3. Surprise and delight
4. Embrace resistance
5. Leave your mark

I loved this book because it was about picking up
– the best tips to create service excellence
– the best ways to create memorable customer moments in any business
– how to take an everyday transaction and raise it to a loyalty level event

No airy-fairy coffee-house writing here.
Michelli actually shares how Starbucks does it all.
Worth your time in a service economy world.

His second and most recent book is a similar format book
the case study is the famed Ritz-Carleton Hotel Company

Again, he defines the critical values, company promise and employee environment

Value is found in the exact methods used to create excellent
– employee hiring practice
– employee training
– cultures of accountability, integrity and engagement

This book was filled with golden nuggets anyone can apply to their business
I like that the book was written to acknowledge all employees and customers
ARE HUMAN BEINGS
and because of that we’re going to get clouded with emotion and baggage
– why not make all that work in your favour?

Lastly, a book about a fish market?
It was actually my favourite book of his.

Although it is not as literal and case study heavy
it is written in the voice of John Yokoyaman
owner of the world famous “Pike Place Fish Market” in Seattle

Because of the story format, this was the quickest read
I retained the most, I enjoyed it the most. Michelli as steward of the story – every business learning is properly conveyed

I did like the way the owner admitted his mistakes
Lots of learning here for business owners and managers
He went from employee obedience to fierce loyalty in a tough environment

These are three great business reads.
My peers who attended his talk said it was a home run, not hokey or contrived

If you seek service excellence from your team, read or call Joseph..

Here’s a fascinating quick talk from him about innovation yesterday and today

Here’s Joseph talking about the books above:

I love business networking

The power of connecting has helped me
change lives and create daily value

But I’ve been puzzled my entire life at “bosses” attitude towards business cards.

Some people give them out so sparingly
like they are made of gold.
Some believe they are a symbol of status and not all employees should have them
Some never carry the damn things – even to a networking event!

In 2011, when business cards are cheaper and more dynamic than ever
the time has come to give cards to your entire team.

Teach them how to use them, when to give them out. My favourite networking book teaches this method.

If you send staff out into the world without cards
you’re leaving $ on the table
you might as well blindfold them
The cost! The cost!! Cry the bean counters
Only management needs them! Cry the closest egotistsReally? And the every-day staff have no network?
They have worked here longer than you
know the vendors, the fans, the customers
know the company better
And they can’t have cards?!?!?

Here are some thoughts and suggestions:

1) If cost and status is your hang up, create a generic card that ALL staff have access to and can give out with all your coordinates ( yes including twitter )2) Sure work has given you a boring card. You should always have a non-work non-boring card with your LinkedIn and twitter account – consider Moo.com’s minicards!

3) On that note. No job? They are called “contact cards” how will someone who has a job to give you find you if you meet at an event?!
 
4) How about a conversation starter? The greenest business card in the world!! 100% recycled paper, vegetable inks, bullfrog powered and they plant a tree with every order!!
4) Business cards are like lottery tickets every one you give away has the potential to be a winner!

5) Want to take your card use to the NEXT level? Read this book

I leave you with a little bus-card etiquette. PN

Do you care about your career?
Do you invest in your future?
Do you know where you want to go but don’t know how?

This book is a must read.

The book is separated into three mindsets:

1) Find your ideal your strengths, your goals

2) BEFORE you get the job, what to do

3) What to do as SOON as you get the job to succeed

Here’s a snapshot of the plan – obviously you need the book to get the most out of it:

This book is NEVER vague.
There is a road map and worksheet for every step of the way.

The “due diligence” on a company, department and employer before you apply for a job is the best section I’ve ever read on this subject.

There are also some powerful insights and tips about moving up inside a company.

I love that this book NEVER denies real humanity. Something “job hunt” and “management” books always do.

It recognizes that people are curious, nervous and protect themselves – it’s not sneaky to communicate with your employees – it’s honest reality.

I love their concept of the “fuzzy front end” that time when you start a job in the first couple weeks. Brilliant advice here, the best start plan (that includes tips on your home life ) I’ve ever seen in print.

Even tips on how to set up your office depending on your position.

For job seekers, in a post internet world this book has a communications plan with that critical pre-job networking stage.

There is an entire section on “day one” strategy.

This is also a great book for board members/ board chairs. Tips in here for you too, how to vet a board, the staff, what to do on day one, week one, month one.

I like that this book references Clifton/Buckingham “Strength Finder 2.0” and the “stregths-based” leadership series. I’m a big fan.

A WHACK of downloadable customizable tools! Free!

Leadership, your own personal success is never as easy as pressing a button or reading a book. It takes strategy first, hard word second. You can do number two alone, for number one go out and buy this book today. You will not regret it.

Until then, I leave you to “Imagine” with a short thoughtful video by Xplan and Nitin Nohria about leadership – where do you fit in?!

Mintzberg is held by many to be a business icon for the current generation.

This is a small book,
but you’ll enjoy it
in the same way a glass scotch, port, fine wine etc.. is smaller than a pint of beer.

Mintzberg isn’t a theorist
he’s a management mechanic

In this book he stewards you through a number of essays and position papers that are fun to read but still practical.

Digestible bites of 1000 to 1500 words max.

This book is the ultimate to take on a plan, train or bus ride (or private jet/yacht/top of a mountain and other “leadership” cliches)
– it will leave you productive but pensive.

Other management writers lose me quickly,
Mintzberg on the other hand describes my day in every book:

The lack of time, the challenge of work Vs. staff issues, the issue of vision Vs. strategy and results Vs. productivity

If you view management as a career more than just a job title…

Read this book, you will enjoy it.

I leave you with 14 minutes and 22 seconds of Henry at Tedx McGill

Greetings and welcome new Twitter follower!

I wanted to go beyond just the standard
“thank you for following me” line.

But I am grateful for the follow and your time.

My Personal Mission statement: Promote purposeful passionate people to help them reach professional and personal potential while enjoying life to the fullest.

I am here to help you. To add value.

Besides Twitter, you might consider
connecting with me on LinkedIn
but only if we can do business
that will benefit you.

My trademark seeker statement:
“If hindsight is 20/20,
I want to view life
using the clear vision
of others learned wisdom”

That’s where you come in.
Please share, teach and guide.
I am listening.

My only requirement for Tweeps
is that we use our time to help
others whenever possible.

Thanks again!

Paul Nazareth

Oh…and one more thing…

This is going to be a confusing post.
It won’t have as much of a point as usual.

Just a comment that really rocked me this morning.
Here’s why.

Yesterday while doing the big “dish wash” on Saturday afternoon
I was listening to this rather deep show on death on CBC’s Tapestry

That night I watched a surprisingly well told story by Clint Eastwood – Hereafter ( don’t hate on Matty D until you see it )

Before I went to sleep a chapter of one of the greatest stories
of love and loss was on TV ( don’t judge!!! ) It is the story of the danger of “the fear of loss”
What it can lead us to do.

So this morning while listening to a random CBC show on “forgiveness”

I heard a father talking about something his daughter said to him before she was killed in an accident:
“Don’t cry because it’s over…. Smile because it happened.”

I think about loss a lot. It’s part of my job, of all our lives.
I would love to hear your opinion some time.

Or now. Comments are welcome.

Let’s stop B-S’ing each other eh?

We can talk about better opportunities
or cite work issues – we’re professional after all
but behind closed doors – everyone knows
Our biggest job problems are people. Most often bosses.

An internationally respected author in non-profit ( Penelope Burke )
shared a little about her upcoming book “I’m leaving”
Inspired me to “come out of the closet” and publish this list

For many years I have read every book
I could get my hands on to coach others
through trauma, discomfort and distress
to help myself through sticky situations
and to make sure I caused as few as possible
when on that fateful day I became – “boss”

I get asked a lot about the best of the 20+ I’ve read
Here are a few.

Under the “no A-hole is going to chase me out of my job
(dealing with it)” category:

“I Hate People!: Kick Loose from the Overbearing and Underhanded Jerks at Work and Get What You Want Out of Your Job”

It almost sounds defeatist and negative
but it’s all about recognizing the problem
understanding the issues
and providing concreate ways to deal with others

With names like:
– The stop sign
– The bulldozer
– Smiley Face
– Switchblade
– The spreadsheet and more…
you’ll recognize coworkers instantly
and you’ll have a new arsenal to achieve in spite of them

2) “Am I the only sane one working here?”

Another great read where you’ll get some stress relief
learn a lot about what’s causing you problems
and find solutions to deal with them.

This book is a little more evil
because it encourage you
to watch bad people melt down
and enjoy it a little bit

The “Problem Boss” category

Wow, this one was a biggie. It was powerful.
For those people with truly terrible bosses
Who throw tantrums, shout, hiss, get personal
passive-aggressively perpetrate evil
This book is a life saver.
Chicken soup for the jaded soul (fun read)

It specifically discusses the many
faces, moods and methods of truly tyrant bosses
and gives you instant ways to deal and deflect

It’s only slight flaw,
you might need to be a parent
or understand children to read it.

Solving the problems daily category:

This book isn’t about “bosses”
but is all about “non-violent communication”
Much like a big favorite of mine “Crucial Conversations“
This book instantly gives you every day language
to become a judo-word master
and deflect and diffuse problems
before they start

I’ve tried it. THIS IS REAL.

Don’t become that boss category!

A fable format book
you can get through on a couple commutes
it really shows you how high producing professionals
can easily become bad bosses

Like Anakin Skywalker started
as a kind young lad and became Lord Vader

A fun and insightful read.
If you have a “bad boss”
this book will even help you
to understand them a lot better.

A more recent publication “Good Boss, Bad Boss”
I like that it considers the stress
we’ve all been under during the recession.
This book starts by acknowledging
that most bosses don’t even want to be a boss, or “lead”

With wonderful bonuses like
– the ego survey
– top traps to becoming a bad boss
– how to actually earn respect from employees
– how to be firm but empowering

This book is great value
and filled with great advice
for the present and the future

I personally HATE the word boss because,
as I’ve been saying since Grade 1
“You’re not the boss of me”
but you know who IS the boss of me?
Me.

That’s the number one thing
that comes out of all these books
is that all we can control
is ourselves and our own reactions to others

Master that, and no one can screw with you.

I have had brilliant supervisors
I have been blessed with tyrants and despots
BOTH have taught me much

I hope these books and notes are of value.
Use them in good health and maybe….
your employees won’t refer to you as

A BOSSHOLE

Don’t let it come to this. ( opens July 2011)

I’m getting tired of being tackled every damn time
I take a picture for Twitter or a blog post

So I’ve gotten in the habit of asking
1. Can I take a picture to promote you
2. Do you have a Twitter handle?

The answer is usually:

1. Wow thank you!
2. Haa haha Social Media is stupid, what is Twitter?

So I work in a new area now and I was out and about today for lunch

Working with events over the years
I am a sucker for sharp, beautifully arranged flowers
Today I saw a whole shop of near perfection
and had to just stop and stare, and Tweet!

I walked in and asked my questions and had to stop at #1

“No no you can’t take any pictures,
we’ve had some funny business”

What about those flowers. Nope.
These ones? No.

But I want to send a note to event planners
brides and fundraisers in my business network.
We have a website, send them there.

Wow. How very web 1.0

Looking at the Pistil website, I get it. They have signature stuff.
But like Seth Godin says, if your art is a secret
and you must patent/defend it
You don’t make art, you make widgets

The art is you and your work and your relationship with your customer

So *phew* good news Pistil!
I’m nobody, I’m not a customer
Tell me to shut up and get out,
you lost nothing
I won’t be up to any funny business

But the last thing you’ll get from me
….is my business

Son of a B!?&# they have a cool blog though!