For many years I have read every book I could get my hands on to coach others through trauma, discomfort and distress to help myself through sticky situations and to make sure I caused as few as possible when on that fateful day I became – “boss”
I get asked a lot about the best of the 20+ I’ve read Here are a few.
Under the “no A-hole is going to chase me out of my job (dealing with it)” category:
“I Hate People!: Kick Loose from the Overbearing and Underhanded Jerks at Work and Get What You Want Out of Your Job” It almost sounds defeatist and negative but it’s all about recognizing the problem understanding the issues and providing concreate ways to deal with others
With names like: – The stop sign – The bulldozer – Smiley Face – Switchblade – The spreadsheet and more… you’ll recognize coworkers instantly and you’ll have a new arsenal to achieve in spite of them
2) “Am I the only sane one working here?”
Another great read where you’ll get some stress relief learn a lot about what’s causing you problems and find solutions to deal with them.
This book is a little more evil because it encourage you to watch bad people melt down and enjoy it a little bit
The “Problem Boss” category
Wow, this one was a biggie. It was powerful. For those people with truly terrible bosses Who throw tantrums, shout, hiss, get personal passive-aggressively perpetrate evil This book is a life saver. Chicken soup for the jaded soul (fun read)
It specifically discusses the many faces, moods and methods of truly tyrant bosses and gives you instant ways to deal and deflect
It’s only slight flaw, you might need to be a parent or understand children to read it.
Solving the problems daily category:
This book isn’t about “bosses” but is all about “non-violent communication” Much like a big favorite of mine “Crucial Conversations“ This book instantly gives you every day language to become a judo-word master and deflect and diffuse problems before they start
I’ve tried it. THIS IS REAL.
Don’t become that boss category!
A fable format book you can get through on a couple commutes it really shows you how high producing professionals can easily become bad bosses
A fun and insightful read. If you have a “bad boss” this book will even help you to understand them a lot better.
A more recent publication “Good Boss, Bad Boss” I like that it considers the stress we’ve all been under during the recession. This book starts by acknowledging that most bosses don’t even want to be a boss, or “lead”
With wonderful bonuses like – the ego survey – top traps to becoming a bad boss – how to actually earn respect from employees – how to be firm but empowering
This book is great value and filled with great advice for the present and the future
I personally HATE the word boss because, as I’ve been saying since Grade 1 “You’re not the boss of me” but you know who IS the boss of me? Me.
That’s the number one thing that comes out of all these books is that all we can control is ourselves and our own reactions to others
Master that, and no one can screw with you.
I have had brilliant supervisors I have been blessed with tyrants and despots BOTH have taught me much
I hope these books and notes are of value. Use them in good health and maybe…. your employees won’t refer to you as
Ironic that it was held at a bar called “Proof”. Although the bar alludes to Vodka, this event to me is proof that someone out there is willing to invest in young talent at a time when the sector is grinding them up like sausage meat. Took guts to make networking the main event. And damn it worked! But I digest….
Several people commented that I cheated and brought my own nametag If you ever see me, I NEVER wear lanyards. They are networking death Always turned the wrong way, they direct your attention down to the stomach And I gots enough problems going on around there, why direct your attention to the scene of the crime?! BTW: Here’s where to wear it….
More brilliance? Check out the five tips they sent out the day before:
1. Bring a stack of business cards, you just never know 2. Download the attendee list here 3. Like us on facebook, if you haven’t already. (Facebook sucks, follow them on LinkedIn) 4. Are you on twitter? Use the hashtag #YNPcanada to find other YNP’ers 5. Got a smartphone? Download these 2 free apps: Bump & RedLaser
Take note AFP and CAGP conference committee’s. 1,2 and 4 should be a “must” before all professional gatherings. Period.
Lastly, I set up about 15 coffee meetings for later.. but a word of comment… Can we retire the phrase “pick your brain” Leave that to the zombies.
Some solid networking done but my favourite part was watching Ken Wyman work the room for his students This is a guy who has seen success, has done his bit for King, Queen & country advocates, works hard, he hustles for those in his care.
He goes beyond educator, to shepherd A bodhisattva of sorts, here to help others find their voice Something the great Steven Covey stresses in the 8th habit
There is no patron saint for fundraisers, a big beef of mine and sure Ken’s not dead yet, far from it but I’m going to start gathering my papers to make a case-for-support ( pardon the pun )
AFP honoured him, he is well known in the community Fundraising, young professionals, we all owe this guy a debt of gratitude He raises the bar on humanity, humility and professional excellence Sure he’s not as ripped as his enviro-peer David But Whatta man……
My session was a short version of my human mission statement: “Passion for people, networking for cause and career”.
As you know I’m going through a bit of a metamorphosis right now…. As BOTH Peter Parker and Seth Brundle once said: “Something is happening to me”
I gave a session that was unfettered by the baggage I’ve carried for years working in non-profit. It was exhilarating.
And I have no idea what the future holds but my joy yesterday was made so much more powerful by people who continue to impact me. As usual…I’ll name names:
Scott Fortnum embodies passionate professionalism with joy and an open heart
Tania Little an expert fundraiser and social media guide where few exist right now
Deborah LeGrove breaks down the ingredients of excellence in a sector that shows little value for it Fraser Green continues to push us to FEEL the power of philanthropy ( and our own humanity ) in the middle of a heartless paper driven sector
At one point I said something that years ago would have got me fired…. A rant but important point about blackberry’s….and got spontaneous applause?
On my drive home and now on my drive up to my fortress of solitude, UofT’s Hart House Farm, where I go to reflect between every job change for the past 15 years
I’m listening to the soundtrack for “Wicked” These two characters embody the personal war I’m fighting.
The “good witch” , the world of charity, seemingly knoble but often dysfunctional and unkind
The “bad witch” of for-profit who is easy to hate but whose intentions are often pure…
I’m off to think and reflect, something busy people never do. I haven’t for years. Wise mentors push me to stop and think often. I am so grateful to these and the dozens of other peers who lead and teach me
My question to you is, who are your teachers? Your personal board of directors? Have you told them what they do for you? Is it time for a board meeting, turnover?
I leave you with a song about how I feel at this very moment. Thanks for reading!
Big change in my career right now An identity shift
Yesterday I was a medium sized fish in a small pond Today I’m like a booger floating in the ocean
But it goes deeper that that – ironically I’ve been speaking about this shift publicly for years When a non-profit professional moves over to for-profit they call it “turning to the dark side”. I remember when a great peer of mine moved. It was tragic to watch them being treated differently
I always found this attitude incredibly ignorant. So I shared this opinion and warned peers the risk they were taking — that annoying and maybe insulting a valuable network contact whose influence has just tripled may be the wrong move.
So I just made that move. As you can see at my “coming out party” last night I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to poke fun…
But both I and you, dear network, have a few months.
Come fall 2011. I’ll stop making the jokes. When you say it, I won’t be mean or embarrass you. I’ll probably smile, but come nightfall, There will be one less trusted peer in my network
This is not a threat
I am always working to test the best in my network to offer my opportunity and resources to propel you further, faster But as always, I demand an attitude of abundance, kindness and humility (and you should demand it from me, always)
We’ve got a battle to fight, some heavy lifting to do. And as a wise-guy said, “do or do not“….